April 21st, 2009 by Towlie

As you may or may not be aware I have a background in the search industry before I was corrupted by AdultBusiness and joined the wonderful and sexy world of the adult and porn industry.

So I thought for a change I would do a blog post on whats new in the world of SEO and may even throw in a few tips and tools here and there for your benefit.

So whilst looking for some interesting new features and tools that have been added to google recently I discovered within Googlelabs a great feature known as Similar Images which uses a picture rather than a piece of text to find other matching images.

Google said that in the present economic climate they feel this innovative approach makes complete sense.

“We are not especially sure where the industry is headed or the economy is headed but we do know that innovation is alive and well at Google,” said Mr Pittman.

“This is a time when innovation is at its most critical in any company.”

“Hard problem”

Google is the leader in search with nearly 64% of the American market compared with Yahoo, which has just over 20% and Microsoft with 8.3%

By adding new features to enrich the a users experience, it is undoubtedly hoping to increase its grip on the world of search.

“Image search is an inherently hard problem to solve because it is a visual problem and explains why people say an image is worth a thousand words because it is so difficult to describe,” said Ms Malpani.

She said Google’s goal was to “cover all the public images of the world and make all the images accessible to all our users”.

Out of all the work being done at Google, the company decided to unveil two projects that are closely aligned to a growing shift in the world of search.

They are reflective of what Google started doing with universal search,it shows they are pushing beyond text into other areas and other ways to their content. The approach is much more about multi-media, different views and different ways to navigate through search data.

Google’s Mr Pittman also said that the traditional method remained the bedrock of search of googles search.

“Keyword search is still critical and mainstream. It is also pivotal because it is a very efficient mechanism where someone asks a question and they get an answer that is relevant and useful. I don’t see that going away.

“These newer approaches are starting to tap into the appetite of the real-time web. These audiences are discovering new ways to search the web and get information and sound bites. These are early days for us and that’s why we launched these new products.

“We make no claims about how they are going to change the face or shape of search but we think they have very compelling potential to do so. But we will let our users give us some feedback first and help us steer these in the right direction,” stated Mr Pittman.

So what else has the google monsters been upto ?

Well another little known google search feature is also within the google labs department is the new Google Audio Indexing tool that allows search what people are saying inside YouTube videos. Google Audio Indexing uses speech technology to find spoken words inside videos and lets you jump to the right portion of the video where these words are spoken.

On top of these features is a new version of Google Labs, in which users can take a peek at its engineers and see what its thousands of engineers are working on.

So guys and girls I’d love to hear what you think so feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts.

Towlie

April 20th, 2009 by Towlie

So its April the 20th today and to all though in the know happy 420 !

All those who dont just google 420 and you’ll soon see what I am on about !

SO how do we celebrate 420 ?

stoners_busted_8jh4

April 16th, 2009 by Towlie

Saw this post on cracked.com and just couldn’t resist a repost of it you can find the original story at Cracked.com

The CB2 was back in the news this week, a year or so after he first made headlines for looking like an infant crossed with a colostomy bag. Clicking through the news, I was glad to see that he hadn’t made any further progress in not looking terrifying, and none of the scientists working on him appeared to have any skin missing. Everything must be completely safe, right?

“Not necessarily,” I replied to my own rhetorical question. Even though hack comedy writers have obsessed over Japanese nuttiness for years, one thing that doesn’t get a lot of attention is their fascination with robots. Unlike western audiences, who have learned to fear robots thanks to fictional works like The Terminator and Blade Runner, the Japanese have Astro Boy and their own tormented dreams to thank for a mental image of robots that looks like helpful fleshy teddy bears. Consequently, while the rest of the world was meeting girls and experimenting with drugs, Japan has spent the past 30 years working to bring robots into the world, as if the whole nation was some sort of hideous metal vagina.

And on that note, let’s get to the comedy! Here’s 20 Japanese Robots (plus some accessories) that, for various reasons, I suspect to be intent on murdering you and everything you hold dear.
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Sure it’s only six inches tall right now, and leashed to a computer, but can you honestly tell me, with fists shaped like that, that this thing is meant for anything other than being sent into the past to kill me for trying to warn the world about it?
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This is a special type of robot that can skitter about like an insect and terrify cats. Oh, it can jump too.

That’s right, Japan has made a fucking robot head-crab.
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This industrial robot is capable of determining if an object placed upon its sensor is a wheel. “Beep,” it says cheerfully during the demonstration. The audience applauds. “I’ve got them right where I want them,” it thinks to itself.
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Japan’s got lots of robot competitions. Remember those robot wars shows that were really popular with guys like you a few years back? Well in Japan they’ve got the same thing, except without any stupid wedge cars, and the robots are bipedal and playing more complicated sports like soccer or competitive diving. Here’s the winner of one of these competitions, with his winning robot slung over one shoulder, and his prize, which appears to be a bag of fertilizer. What use could fertilizer be for a robot? Oh, that’s right, terror.
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According to the press release accompanying this photo, this fully articulated snake-bot is notable for the fact that it can move both on land and in water and wants desperately to understand the human concept of “hugs.”
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Here’s a different version of the snake-bot, beside what is presumably its primary fuel source.
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Assuming this man is riding in this robot, and not being consumed by it, which is admittedly wishful thinking on my part, this appears to be some sort of commuting device/mobilized robotic armor. Not quite Macross, but I guess we’re getting there.
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Here’s the “supermodel” robot that made the news recently. It’s not very attractive, so I’m guessing the big appeal is it can do cocaine a lot faster than regular models?
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And here’s the ass shot, for the 10 percent of you interested in that sort of thing, but won’t cop to it. And also for the three percent of you who would fill the comments section with “ass pix plz thnx” comments.
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Another humanoid robot, not nearly as advanced as model-bot, but eight times as terrifying. Perhaps worried that their creation was an affront to everything their God created, the makers decided to put a wig on it to disguise it as Bon Jovi.
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Here’s BonJovibot again, as two technicians discuss their options for getting upskirt shots of it.
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Finally a robot with some classic 50s lines. This looks like it was made by General Electric, and can assist with household chores and dispensing Valium.
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This shot demonstrates that robots can be disguised as anything. These seals? Robots. The guy? Probably not a robot. But until I see him bleed human blood, he’s not getting into my home.
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A wall climbing robot, proving in the future we won’t be safe on the ceiling either. Also of note, Japan’s version of Vanna White, whom I’m guessing let the robot pick out an outfit for her.
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This thing could teabag a car. That’s actually pretty awesome.
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Two robots in this one (can you spot both? Look carefully!)

The wheelchair bot is actually pretty cool. It’d give wheelchair bound individuals a lot more personal freedom, and the ability to punch through walls or crush the larynxes of people who had wronged them in some way. Like robots, I’m imagining wheelchair-bound people to hold a lot of deep-seated resentment to the world, so I can see how they’d get along well.
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Look at that robot on the right. It looks like it’s being punished. Holy crap, have you ever seen a robot look so sullen before? Imagine an angst filled teenager with the physical strength of a garbage truck. Now imagine it not caving-in a daycare to get attention. I sure can’t.
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Despite the fact that I (A) consider myself pretty smart and (B) have been reading Japanese web sites all afternoon, I surprisingly still can’t read Japanese. So I have no idea what this sign says. But if this is anything other than a robot designed for practicing French kissing, I don’t want anyone to correct me.
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Oh shit! It’s right behind you!
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I guess this is how Japanese children are taught about sex now?
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This is a picture of a robotic manipulator, grasping a child around the waist. The child is either indicating something he’s just done in his pants, or how many more birthdays he’d like to live to see.
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This is Temsuk, the first robot capable of criticizing what’s on TV.
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Temsuk again, being given an honorary doctorate from a mid-range university.
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More ceremony. The guy on the right is just furious for some reason. It’s like he just lost a big promotion to Temsuk.
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Oh, holy balls. Has Japan made a two story robot in the shape of a titanium baby? The best available evidence (this picture) says that yes they have.
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The horrifying abomination runs on the power of childrens’ dolls. Is it too great a leap of the imagination to suggest it will soon run on babies? When consulted, my imagination stated flatly, “No.”
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Holy fuck.

If you’re looking for a reasonable explanation, or at least solace, you won’t find it on the creator’s website, where it explains:

This GIANT TORATAN doll is the ultimate child’s weapon, as it sings, dances, breathes fire, and follows only those orders given by children

Because if there’s anything I can imagine that’s more murderous and hate-filled than robots, it’s children.
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And that’s that. I invite everyone to share their strategies for surviving the upcoming recession/baby-robot holocaust in the comments section. Any submissions that impress me enough will get an invite to come hang out in my robot shelter and eat cases of fruit rolls-ups with me when The Day Comes.

see original at cracked.com