April 6th, 2009 by Towlie

So some fun stuff for Monday, Jokes funny pics and some great music.

So first up here’s a few jokes with quite a common punchline Enjoy I liked em.

AND THATS WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED…

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.” So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”And that’s when the fight started….
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I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.”Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?” And that’s when the fight started….
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’& And then the fight started…
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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Carling for £12.99.Instead, she bought a tub of icecream for £6.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And then the fight started….
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A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’ The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’ And then the fight started…..
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.” He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?” “Nah, she can order for herself.”And then the fight started…
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?”Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”My God!’ said my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’And then the fight started…
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt.’ So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’And then the fight started…
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale. And then the fight started…
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.She asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust.’And then the fight started…

I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. “Honey? What’s wrong” I asked.
“Oh, George! Just look at me: I’m getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I’m just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!”
I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: “Your vision’s real good, honey. That’s something, isn’t it?”

And that’s when the fight started….

- – -
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive.
So I took her to a petrol station.
And that’s when the fight started….

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
And that’s how the fight started…..

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, “Holy Crap! That must be my husband!”
So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and then started to run as fast as he could to his car.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, “I AM your husband!”
The woman yelled back, “Yeah, well then, why were you running?”
And that, folks…………is how the fight started.

And now for some pics to reward you for all that reading

And now for one of the best videos of last year By Fatboy slim

THE BPA – “TOE JAM” AND DAVID BYRNE & DIZZEE RASCAL

Also as I am feeling quite nice today I am including a video of rather good band I watched the other day despite coming down with a particular ferocious case of man Flu !

So here without further ado I present…

April 1st, 2009 by Towlie

Well, a few months back I was chatting to another newbie dating webmaster, asking silly questions most of the time and generally wanting their hand held, now this is not a problem and to be honest we are happy to talk to all our affiliates and have an affiliate manager on hand if they need.So I was thinking there’s got to be lots of webmasters in the same boat, looking to promote our dating and contacts sites.

So what’s the best way to promote a site or even the best site to promote? I have affiliates that have done TGPs, Premium Tours, live chats and free community and much more. But were never able to convert much and they never knew how to drive traffic into their affiliate sites and links etc.

Then they stumble upon BritishSexContacts. Many of you may know about it. It’s where you start your own dating website, using your own domain name. The dating database and site is provided by the Affiliate Company (adultbusiness) and you start out with some thousands and thousands of members from the start. The BritishSexContacts affiliate site enables you to create your own profit making dating or adult contacts web site they provide member support and everything a dating website needs. You just need to drive traffic into your own website and see checks coming in. The important part is, that your links don’t look spammy now when you promote it because you simply promote your domain name saying something like “hey check out britishsexcontacts.co.uk” (just some random example). When someone signs up and purchases credit, you get upto 75% of it. This way you can be sure of huge conversion rate. On top of that BritishSexContacts program allows you to link direct to a profile for promotional campaigns and so, you can gain a very high level of conversion if you stay creative.

Ok, now how to do it?

• Sign up for BritishSexContacts,.
• Buy a keyword domain (will explain it later) and made a BSC BritishSexContacts site on it.
• Then make at least 10 blogger blogs for promoting one dating site using relevant keywords.
• Then start adding short keyword rich articles into blogs and put the dating profiles from sites in between the blog posts.
• Get articles ranking damn well and start enjoying seeing huge traffic now.
• Also good to use Yahoo Answers, Banner Exchanges and link building for promotional means.

Now how to select a keyword:

• Well, use google trends or wordtracker and keyworddiscovery tools.
• First type in a basic keyword into it and search. Obviously it will have high competition.
• Now you will get a list of keywords. Open up another keyworddiscovery tool page and type in the second keyword (from the first result page). Check the competition of some low lying keywords by searching these keywords on google. Use “allintitle:keywords” format when you do your research. You should choose those keywords which have minimum allintitle results in google.
• Now, use this keyword to make a blogspot blog.
• Now open up another keyworddiscovery tool and type in the keyword you have made a blogger blog with. Search it and you will get a list of low searched, very low competitive keywords set. Target each of these keywords with one small article each and you should see the result pretty fast. Don’t forget to link back to profiles from your own dating site in between the posts.
• Another great tool I recently discovered is tweetmyblog I just came across this cool new site and I
  thought maybe you could benefit from it. It’s called Tweet My Blog and it’s a very cool Twitter plugin For Wordpress.
  You can download it for free here:http://www.tweetmyblog.com/?rid=10333 Anyway I joined and I’m very excited about
  all the cool stuff I can do with this plugin. I also bought the one time offer, it was such great value. Be sure to check it out

Also, about the Yahoo Answer technique. Some people may think this as a blackhat but I think it’s ok because you are providing some good service to those who are searching. Now, the “How” part! Best thing to do is to search for dating related recent questions in yahoo answers and provide them with your dating website link or a link to one of your blog posts whichever you feel appropriate. You can be a bit creative on this and get some really converting traffic. I have seen this done and I know this traffic does convert for dating. And I can tell you some yahoo answer pages rank very well for some very good long tail dating dating keywords. You just need to dig a little bit on keywords, that all.

Believe me, it really works. If you have some spare time, check it out and enjoy.